Just want to make one thing clear…
I am NOT on the Internet (including Facebook) to find a date!
Because I’m broken and I will fuck it up!
I am by no means a tough girl, but things happened and in the moments where it hurt the most, I found an unbelievable inner strength. I had to endure these tough moments. I had to survive because I wanted to. And because I was afraid of dying. I didn’t want to suffer.
– I had a huge desire to live! I’m a fighter and I do not give up.
– I never had a real family. So I have been fighting all my life to belong somewhere. To be part of something. To love and be loved. By sisters, brothers, and parents. Unfortunately, I lost all my family relations very early in life which left me with huge problems relating to people.
You and I on a nice evening stroll in the city after a wonderful dinner and we get jumped by a mugger. Maybe even an armed mugger. Yes, I have a pretty face which has made me millions of dollars but don’t be mistaken.
I will be the one breaking his arms and smashing his skull against the pavement. And I will probably not stop until he doesn’t move anymore. Blood doesn’t frighten me. Not the slightest. The enemy’s blood calms and encourages me. When I see him bleed I feel victorious and strong.
You will be the one standing five yards away pissing your pants. And I don’t blame you. I also wet my pants right before the first time I got shot.
It won’t matter how many they are. More muggers will just take a little longer and you will get even wetter.
That’s because I’m angry. My therapist says I will outperform a nuke any day – and he is right!
I never had a dad and my mom died when I was a kid. Meaningless killed by a drunken man.
I lived and survived on the streets. Eight years old.
I learned how to cheat and steal to survive. The mafia and a gun became my closest family. Murder, violence, and loss of friends regularly.
I’ve been at war and I should have been dead many times over.
I have been driving in exploding vehicles and planes that got shot out of the sky.
I have found my self at both ends of a riffle and the other guy died.
I have seen innocent children getting sold, raped, and killed.
I have seen women selling the last part of their body to get a fix.
I have been tortured and humiliated every day for several weeks in a cold cave in a dead mountain somewhere in Afghanistan by former KGB agents and Afghan insurgents.
My friends died and I survived. Life isn’t fair. Not by a long shot.
I can’t afford to love people because they die from me and I don’t trust people. No one!
My most reliable friend is a Heckler & Koch assault rifle.
I’m broken. So mad, angry, and broken even the devil doesn’t want to date me.
I’m a pissed off girl in a fucked up world and I screw things up – big time!
And only I can heal me – and that will take a lot of time…